This is an email that my mother sent me a while ago and it made me laugh.
I'm posting this in her honor since today is her day.
1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a
shot of tequila.
4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost
6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl
panties and deal with it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this
8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They
know me here.
9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing
and makes you
11. When life gives you lemons turn it into lemonade then
mix it with vodka.
12. Remember wherever there is a good looking,sweet, single
man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!
13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of
parenthood are hard
14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you
15. By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she
daughter who thinks she's wrong.
Oh maaaaaan that looks like it hurts.
I love you Momma.